I got new magic shoes!

I got new shoes yesterday. They look exactly like the pair on the left over there. They are by Skechers. (please feel free to pay me royalties, now that I am unemployed).  TSM (The Stud Muffin, aka: Dear Husband) was doing some research and felt that these might help me with my severe back injury. So out to a mall far, far away we traveled, by buggy. Kidding- we took the car, but the 40 minute drive was hard on my back.   Being that my
Uncle is Murphy, as in the Murphy who came up with 20 or so "Laws", we parked on the opposite end of where the store was that carried these shoes.

I walked, REALLY slowly. I'm almost certain hermit crabs could have beat me to the store had we laid down a course for them. But I held back the tears and walked through the mall with my hubby. At least the place smelled like cotton candy. :) Mmmm Cotton Candy.  But, I digress.

The gal at the store is really helpful. For legal reasons, they aren't allowed to help you put your shoes on any more, so thankfully TSM was there to help out. I can only lift my legs to put on socks, shoes, undies, if I have say a pant leg to grab hold of and use it to pull my leg towards me. If I don't have pants on, I'm sort of out of luck. Well, I tried on the shoes, and immediately felt better! (YAY)!!

So, we put my favorite New Balance (Sorry NB) in the now empty Skechers Shape-ups Box and I walked out of the store in my new, ugly shoes standing straighter than I had in weeks.

These are not just ANY shoe... oh, no sirree Bob.  (By the way, why is it always Bob that we're no sirring? Why not No Sirree Earl, or Chuck, or Carl?) And, you guessed it--- I digress.

So, back to my magic shoes. These little space aged funky soled shoes are supposed to lengthen and lean my body, tone my legs, buttocks, back and core, increase circulation, and get this- are you ready?  (shh, some one might be listening, so lean in close to the monitor, okay?) These magic shoes eliminate HAIL DAMAGE!...You heard me- they lessen cellulite.  Who wouldn't want a pair of these?

I mean, heck, I've never bore any children, so my hail damage and stretch marks are from a long line of prescription drugs that made me obese, then fat, then obese again, then thin, then obese, then just plain fluffy.  So, I'll be giving you all regular reports on the status of my gluteal hail damage...whether you want it or not. Secretly, you know you do. 

I was supposed to go walking in my new magic shoes today, but sneezed and thew my back out a little more than it was already thrown out. If my back were a baseball game, this one would have been way out in left field my friends...a triple play at least.

This is by far the most boring post in my NOG thus far, and I'm sorry. I'm just not on my game today. I'll try and do an entry tonight, because I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask about things I notice on day time television...

Enjoy the nice weather everyone, and wish me well with my new magic shoes. I know I'm looking forward to having the fanny of a 20 year old again.