Kacey's Nog- Where a Novel meets a Blog

Kacey's Nog- Where a Novel meets a Blog
Finally putting it all down on "paper"

Friday, May 14, 2010

Why I love men- generaly speaking. No, I'm not a jezabel, so cool it people.

I love men.  No, not in the sexual sense, like I must have every guy that has two legs and a set of man berries, but I think God designed quite the winning creature when he created guys.  Now I understand fully that there are real jerks out there, and some are down right evil, but those hurting people were hurt by hurting people, and they did not follow the design that God laid out when he made men, but I'm not going to focus on them, or it will make me want to hunt down an ex-fiance and throttle him until he pays me the $7500 he owes me when he canceled our engagement and wedding 9 months before the big day.. but I digress.  So, back to this man thing. Let's think about it for a minute...
  • They kill bugs we are too chicken to even look at, and they don't even blink about it or tease us
  • They can fix almost anything...unless they are one of those new spangled metro boys, and they are just good at fixing up a nice outfit and being hip...
  • They have a desire to provide and would do anything for their family/wife
  • They don't have to spend hours in the bathroom to look hot
  • They have manly muscles- (yum-o!)
  • They like to do things like mow the lawn, tinker in the garage, (leaving you with full control over the remote for a while :)  )
  • They are strong- both physically and mentally
  • They are gentle
  • They clean up the dog poop...
  • Some that aren't gifted in the kitchen try REALLY hard to cook for you from time to time.
  • They are logical- which at times drives me nuts, but thankfully God gave me a pretty high dose of creative logic, so their logic doesn't drive me as batty as it could, it makes me appreciate them more.
  • They like to sleep on things before they react-they can control their emotions until it is the right time to use or display them. Yes, sometimes they won't even cry if they accidentally lop off their hand with a chain saw while doing simple yard work, but hey- some men are psychotically macho that way...
  • They are smart
  • They can make a fig leaf  a fashion statement...
  • They can invent amazing things
  • They have two brains
  • They can analyze and come to a solution to a problem
  • They work hard, and rarely complain about the jerks they have to work with or for- they just work to provide for us.
  • They look cool on motorcycles
  • They've been given the job to be head of the household and love their wives as the Lord loved the church and to Love God... that's not an easy job, ,yet many men do it.
I could go on and on, but I'll stop there.  Yes, it's true that most of them forget your birthday, or your anniversary, but that's only because they spend every 7 seconds thinking about your breasts or your toosh- I mean, come on ladies, if we thought about Brad Pitt every 7 seconds, we wouldn't remember much else either, nor would we get any work done. We'd probably be hornier, but I digress... wait- this NOG was supposed to be more God oriented, and so far I'm doing a terrible job. Tonight I'll blame it on the massive headache and the heartburn I've had for 4 days that will not go away with generic OTC "Prilosec".

Okay, so back to men- strong, caring, providers, lovers, goofballs, boys at heart, fun, smart, inventive, good with their kids, leaders, builders, sacrificing, cute, hunky, furry, warm. Yep, God did an amazing thing making men, and I believe to an extent that in America most women, not all, but most have done an amazing job of reducing them to bumbling, spineless idiots. I see more women driving cars with hubby's in the passenger's seat, more women demanding to be in control of the household, more women demanding their way is better, and that their husband's are idiots, more women demeaning, belittling, tearing down and destroying our men to the point where we have a government run by actual idiot men, and households full of disrespectful children... And then our schools are trying to turn our young boys into, well, not men, and their turning our girls into... well- not girls, but almost gender reversal.  Satan is doing a great job of deceiving women that we are better than men instead of us following God's plan of being their partner, their helpmate, their cheerleader, their friend, their encourager, their sounding board...

Who are we to question or mess with what God created and how He designed our roles?

When was the last time you sat back and focused/perpended on all the things that made you fall in love with your man to begin with, instead of focusing on the fact that he leaves the cap off the toothpaste, doesn't put the toilet paper in the holder the right way, and leaves his socks on the floor of the bedroom and doesn't put the toilet seat down, farts in bed and then pulls the covers over your head? And when you send him to the store for one thing, he brings home a different version, because God didn't wire him to shop, you treat him like a total loser- it has been scientifically proven that a mans brain goes into overload in grocery stores, and they turn into lost, confused, overwhelmed puppies- who can't seem to find the jug of 2% milk that they've been drinking for 40 years...so go easy on him  the next time you send him for mayo and he brings home miracle whip. In his head it's all the same. Be happy he didn't come home with Jelly instead...

My point is that it is so easy to focus on the annoyances, that we forget the great things about men (which Satan wants) and our  man that God gifted us with, that we tear them down, and don't honor them as we should.  Over the next few days, spend 5-10 minutes either listing on paper or focusing in your mind as many things as you can (this may be hard at first if you've wrongly been wearing the pants in the family) about your man that made you love him way back when you first met him and started to date. Focus on the little things he does, celebrate the things he fixes, remembers, provides for you- Thank him not only for being a great man, but for loving God and loving you, And, if he doesn't know or love God, buy the book  The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian. I prayed every prayer in that book for 3 years... and now my husband is being transformed by the Holy Spirit in ways I never dreamed possible. Not that he wasn't great before, but he's super great, now...

So, thank you God,  for my wonderful husband. Yes, there are times I'd like to glue the remote to his hand so that his A.D.D tendencies didn't make him open and close the back making this annoying clicking noise every 5 seconds, and yes there are times I'd like to choke him, punch him, slug him... but when all is said and done, he's amazing. He's so smart, has this goofy laugh that makes me smile EVERY time I hear it, he's a natural leader, a "clock maker": he can make almost anything work, and fix almost anything. I can give him a drawing of something I want, and he can build it.  He is good with car repairs, still has a nice butt, he loves me, he's my friend, and recently he went the extra mile and made a sacrifice to work with me to get through this journey of healing my back from this at times debilitating injury that I suffer from.

He's actually taking time away from his "job" (I say that because we both recently lost our jobs, and his job is volunteering for an amazing ministry, but for now, there is no pay- so I don't call it a job- even though it is, it's not a paying one). Anyway, he is taking time away from there to walk along side me on this journey- go with me to the YMCA for my granny water aerobics, and to the PT clinic as I work on the medieval torture machines, and walk with me as I rebuild my muscles and my strength.  He's never done anything that selfless for me, and my heart melts at how amazing he's become as he lets the Lord guide him, and how amazing God is for not only creating him (and man), but for gifting him to me. He is going to sacrifice along with me during my painful journey to recovery. That one action alone, melted my heart and I was so thankful for his love towards me. 

So, thank your man, ladies, and focus on the good. You'd be amazed at how more love, joy, fun and harmony you'd have in your lives if you started to focus on what an amazing gift you do have, instead of nitpicking to death all the little things that in the grand scheme of life don't mean squat.  So go ahead..."thank" your man today...and maybe even tomorrow if you can find a sitter.  ;)

Blessings to you all,

PS- The picture is of my Stud Muffin, with our grandson, Noah. 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Day one...testing the world of blogging.

Well, here I am, the author I've always wanted to be. Wow- it feels great. For the exception of one thing. I don't have a publisher, or a publicist, nor do I have a $25,000 advance for my musings in the bank from a publisher...but I digress, because that's actually two thing.s So much for being good at addition.

Some day I may become a professional digressor, but for now, I'm working  on my Jedi Knight skills, and a few other things, like humility, total surrender to Christ, and finding a cure for my back injury. I'd also like to learn how to control my puppy, Honor. I'm even certain he'd frustrate the Dog Whisperer himself, and send Caesar Milan home whimpering like a wounded pup.

I'm not sure what to write about today, so I'll just ramble a bit. 

Yesterday was my long awaited (took 6 years to get there...not because I was lost, and didn't have a  map, but because I was on a quest, like Froto in LOTRs, but without that freaky anorexic zombie creature whispering precious and eying my wedding ring). visit with my back surgeon.  It was a 6 year quest, because upon our last visit he gave me three options.  The first was I could have a back fusion surgery, the second a newly developed artificial disc replacement surgery. Where by the way, they put this silicone disc where your herniated, wounded, broken disc was and you wake up all good and new. The problem with this option was that if I was going to go under the knife to have a silicone implant, I didn't want a quarter sized one in my spine, I wanted a C-cup size on my chest... I'm just saying. If yer gonna get silicone, go big or go home.  But I digress...yet again.
So the third option was to try everything but chiropractic. He gave me a long list of things to do, and I eagerly went about completing the list, and even doing a few things that were NOT on the list like experimenting with the healing powers of Twinkies, writing odes about the evil herb Cilantro, and buying a treadmill and joining a gym.  I realize having a treadmill AND joining a gym is redundant, but we high IQ people often do things that don't make sense to the average person. No offense, it's just the way it is. Embrace your lower IQ. It's not a bad thing, trust me.  So, how'm I doing on that humility thing I am practicing? Good? No? Yeah, I have a long way to go.

Yesterday after exhausting all options, having 7 doctors over a 6 year period put my body through the wringer, being unable to agree upon a solution, let alone a plan to get my back healthy, they ended up in all their doctory wisdom making me sterile. So I can't have children. I also went from a slender, fit, 140 pounds to 195 pounds, then they kept adding pills to fix the problem, and I became insulin resistant, they burnt out my adrenals and my body stopped producing 3 of the major hormones you need to function as a healthy, horny, happy female woman- oh, and it makes it darn near impossible to lose weight. In 6 years I've only ever been able to drop 20 pounds.

So here I sit at 175...and it hurts my body. I'm not short, but I'm not tall. I'm not small boned, I'm actually a good, medium Austrian/German build with strong legs and broad shoulders. I could be a man, except I've got the wrong body parts, and the only facial hair I have is from the testosterone cream experiment one doctor put me on- Thanks, doc...what female doesn't love 78 or so THICK, black hairs growing out of both of her chins?  You told me I'd only get hairy where I applied the cream, and my inner thigh is NO where near my double chin(s)...they haven't sunk that low yet.

Back to yesterday- I apologize, you'll find I ramble. Not intentionally- again. It's the high IQ. So many thoughts and I must remember to get them all out or my brain will explode, I pray you understand my plight.

So, yesterday, after going through 4 rounds of therapy at a very well renowned back clinic, 2 rounds at a crappy pt clinic, Narcotics "therapy", walking therapy, personal trainers, bed rest, don't sit, don't stand, don't work, go to work, walk your dogs, don't walk your dogs, ice your back, don't ice your back, use heat, don't use heat, here- take these pills, with the other 7 we gave you, 4 series of bilateral facet injections (google it, and have a bucket near by- I almost puked each time I had the procedure, reading about it will turn you green), multiple steroid injections, steroid pills, creams, potions, voodoo, guesswork, treadmills, gyms and hundreds of healing prayers I went back to Dr. H to tell him I was ready for surgery, because nothing else worked.

He told me "no".  Um, doesn't he know who I am? Jedi Master, Warrior Princess of the Risen King, Cute Kacey, THE Kitchen Diva, wanna be member to MENSA... I mean come on dude, I was SOBBING during the examination and you say NO?!?! Are you flipping insane? I concurred that he was and aliens had sucked out his ever loving brain the night before our appointment. I don't blame him. I blame the government for not keeping a closer eye on all those locked up aliens out in sector 7... or where ever that place in the desert is.

Instead he told me to go BACK to the renowned therapy place (YAY) She says with obvious sarcasm...but again, I digress. I wonder if being a professional digressor pays well?

After the 12 week therapy course (which will be my 4th or 5th time, I couldn't tell you because of all the drugs these 7 docs put me on, it fried parts of my memory) I go back to Dr. H, the brainless (due to alien invasion) surgeon to have a discogram. Google that too, cause I'm not even going to talk about it- it's painful, I hate pain, and that's that.

Once Dr. H decides that things have or have not progressed (let's say they haven't) I get to see a shrink. Which is ironic, because I'm starting school this fall to become a shrink. Then, We go to our insurance company, who is always so willing to approve ANYTHING we need or desire. If they say yes, he'll fuse my spine. Wait, did he just say fuse? What about my breast implants? Er, I mean, disc implant?  Nope- he wants to do fusion. I refuse fusion. Look it up 16% success rate of the patient NOT ever feeling pain again, the rest either feel the same or worse... He said if we did get my insurance company to agree to the fusion, we could do some fancy wording to get a disc replacement out of it, but I have a lot of work ahead of me before he'll even consider surgery.  I felt like I was kicked in the gut, had a bomb dropped on me, lost my best friend, had my dog die, and had my husband tell me he was gay, and discovered Cinnabons had been banned by Obama all at the same time. Needless to say, even with out great Hope giver in office, I had lost all hope.

I think I blinked 5 times yesterday total, cried most of the day, was in extreme pain, oh and the best part is Dr. H said NO MORE PAIN MEDS... yup you heard me- Damn Alien brain suckers. He said they aren't really helping anyway, and if I'm only taking them to sleep. (who needs sleep anyway, right?) I was to stop taking them, and he wasn't going to give me any at all. I went catatonic at that point and just gave up in my head.

TSM was great yesterday. Rough on me, but loving. For the first time in my entire time of knowing him, he's done something so selfless, I'm starting to wonder if aliens got to his brain, too. He's stepping back from his "job" at the ministry to stay home with me as much as he can and go through this with me- yup...go through the water aerobics (from the side lines) go through the Back Clinic- from the side lines, and make sure I do all the other things I'm supposed to do so I can get back into shape, and get better. It's not the same as him giving me a child, but it comes close, because it showed me that he does value me, and he does care.  He can be a little hard to figure out in those areas, so I don't mean that disrespectfully to him. He's got baggage, too- but his is fancy baggage...we're talking Louis Vuitton baggage honey! Big, heavy, gaudy, and out there! I love him, but he came with a 7 piece set. Thankfully he's met some great Godly men, and he's down to an over night bag and the smallest rolling suitcase...and maybe the lighted cosmetic bag. Not that he wears makeup...he doesn't- but I'm trying to paint a picture.

Well, I've rambled enough for one day. Thanks for sticking with me. I was going to talk some more about Honor and how the big dorfus woke up at 5:39 this morning, but you can follow that on facebook today if you'd like. I'm off to make some waffles before TSM won't buy them any more (I guess they aren't healthy...who knew) and watch Angel before I go back to bed to get some sleep. They say sleep helps the body heal, so I plan on sleeping today. Oh, and the doctor said nothing about not taking Melatonin or Tylenol PM, so guess what? This woman is going to get some sleep. I'm in so much pain, that night time makes me cry myself to sleep most nights, and I'm not going to toss and turn and cry- so melatonin OR Tylenol PM will be assisting me.

Talk to you guys later. Thanks for reading my novel.
It's okay, I suck at blogging. I should do nogging. It's like writing a novel AND blogging all in one.

Well, since I've got to get my "fighter" attitude back, you can all kiss my grits... kidding!

Love ya all,